Best Corporate Gift Basket

“Y’all are not going to believe this,” Cat, the office manager, announced to all of us when we landed on the Zoom meeting. After being at home for over a year on lockdown, my coworkers and I were eager to hear any kind of good gossip, especially knowing that Cat had made her way to the office building for the first time in months. I’d already taken to spying on the cats all day just to have something to discuss with my husband at bedtime.

When we all had to transition to working from home due to a zombie outbreak a few years before, I really thought that nothing would happen that the best corporate gift basket couldn't fix. Looking back at everything my coworkers and I have been through in the last few months, I don’t believe there are any corporate gift ideas in the world that could rectify our trauma.

“The office is overrun with critters,” she said firmly. She didn’t laugh. She didn’t make eye contact, and she didn’t even crack a joke about the critters destroying all the best corporate gift baskets we had worked so hard to make before we left. A few of us chuckled. Josephine even spat out some of the orange soda she’d been sipping from a 2-liter. Ronald, which usually slept through everything, opened one eye and the corner of his lip turned up.

“I found squirrels hanging out in the vending machine—they’d eaten every Payday and bag of nuts. God only knows how the deer got in, but they were right there in accounting like it was nobody’s business. And, I saw a pair of snakes in one of our corporate gift baskets—who knows how many there really are, or just how many other critters are taking over the place. The wildlife has apparently taken refuge at our old workplace. It’s going to be a mess to navigate when we go back.”

The next week, Cat put up a series of wildlife cameras with live feeds sent straight to the office group so we could see all the action. She’d found some awesome models in unique corporate gift baskets that automatically sent a live feed when motion was detected.

I was in the middle of researching gift basket ideas for business clients and gift baskets for employees working from home when the screen went live. Right there for everyone to see was a jackrabbit marching across the boss’s desk. This was probably the biggest jackrabbit I’d ever seen—sucker must’ve been two feet tall. Even more comical, he was munching on a Rolodex card and had a sticker on its fur that said “gift basket for group.” This was only the beginning.

By the end of the workday, we were all totally enthralled with the live feed and had all but forgotten unique corporate gifts. A murder of crows had set up shop in my old cubicle, which I thought was hilarious. Somehow, a group of wild turkeys had managed to get into the technology room with all the data storage towers. And the entire place seemed to be covered in moths and butterflies, which I found even odder than the bigger animals.

While we all enjoyed the show while it lasted, the day finally came when it was time to get back to making luxury corporate gift baskets at the office. The zombie population had finally navigated its way primarily to the east coast, and the few stragglers that were left in Sowless City were easy enough to dupe into manholes.

Cat decided it would be best if we all met up in the parking lot and made a go of our first entry into the building together as a group. Just for good measure, I brought along a few corporate gifts for employees and unique gift baskets—it would be possible that we would need the distractions to lure the animals outside.

As soon as we entered the building, I knew that there was no way corporate gift baskets for clients or luxury corporate gifts would make any difference. Animals were literally hanging from the ceiling tiles and clinging to the walls. We walked in a group huddled together, shooing live creatures toward the door. However, it didn’t take long to realize something as a fact: our office was no longer ours. The office belonged to the wild, and we would have to figure out how to make it all work.

We made it through that first day, barely scathed, but our workdays have been interesting, to say the least. Cat tried to help by transitioning salted nuts out to the parking lot from the best luxury gift baskets, but our dear office manager had no luck.

I’m fairly certain the best gift baskets NYC has to offer wouldn’t lure the squirrels out of the breakroom. And, eating outside in the courtyard at lunch was out of the question. I had a tortoise sneak in and steal the lettuce right off of my turkey wrap just the other day, and the bees had decided that Josephine’s orange soda is the nectar of the gods.

Sleepy Ronald can’t even take a nap safely in his cubicle anymore. He was half dozing and half contemplating gourmet gift baskets this morning when the murder of crows from my own cubicle got bored with me and tried to steal the shiny fillings from his teeth.

We all chipped in and got Cat one of those snazzy luxury gift baskets for her birthday, but the moths had taken it over before she even found it on her desk. It’s been a disaster.

I consider myself the outdoorsy type, which is why lockdown has pushed me to drink alcoholic beverages three times a day. However, I have a hard time dealing with the outdoors being brought in, especially at work. When you deal with corporate gift baskets for employees, animals just don’t meld well.

Just in the last week, we’ve dealt with at least one major panic attack amid pinning down corporate gifts for employees because a snake had made a surprise appearance. I’ve even had my own turn at panic. I was pulling together a gift basket for group events when a giant frog jumped right into the basket. I screeched, dropped the basket, and jumped up onto the chair like a little girl.

Josephine actually quit—right in the middle of the big reveal for the best office gift baskets. She was withdrawing from orange soda so badly because the bees kept stealing it that she just started blubbering about gift baskets for office staff and walked away.

It has gotten to the point that most of us are afraid to go to the bathroom alone. We’ve set up a buddy system and keep the best US gift baskets on us at all times just in case we get cornered. We’ve discussed gift baskets for employees working from home just in case we all have to go back into isolation from the trauma. But we’re not quite at that point yet.

Snakes, frogs, turkeys, crows, bugs—we’ve learned to deal with these, even when we find them in our office gift baskets. The deer aren’t even that bad, even though they seem to prefer the snacks in the unique office gift baskets. But, one thing we’ve learned, if you want to make a gift basket for group events, you have to watch out for those darned raccoons.

Raccoons are cute with their little sly walks and nimble fingers but don’t be fooled. Those things are totally feckless. They will slip right into a home office gift basket no matter who is watching, eat everything right in front of you, and give you a dead stare while doing it and peeing in the basket.

There was this one event that we’re now referring to as “the office gift baskets episode” because we’ll never forget it. A family of coons bedded down in one of our biggest baskets, shredded the snack wrappers, created a burrow, and then proceeded to steal our ink pens and paper clips to keep for themselves. We came to the office one morning to find there were no ink pens, pencils, or paperclips available anywhere in the whole building.

We’ve tried a lot of things to get rid of the animals, right down to corporate gift baskets with logo designs paying homage to our new furry coworkers. We’ve adjusted to the new way of doing things, but our way of working is nowhere near as productive as it should be. It’s taken us a full week just to get the best custom gift baskets filled with corporate gifts for employees.

I’m pretty sure we’re on a road back to working from home. I’m a little disheartened about the whole thing—customized corporate gifts and luxury corporate gifting companies don’t have the same sparkle when carried out behind closed doors.

Thankfully, I’ve made good friends with the frog. He’s just as thrilled about unique corporate gifts as I am. We’ve talked it over. If I do have to go back to working from home, Kermit’s going with me. He’s ready to meet the cats.