Corporate Gift Baskets USA

How much would you pay for dryer lint?

I’ve pondered this question for a few days now. I’m serious. Think about this for a minute—just like you would think about what should go in luxury gift baskets for him. Dryer lint can have some good purposes, especially in bulk quantities. I’ll tell you what I paid for my bulk supply: $5,000. You’ll think I’m lying, but it was probably the best investment of my life, even better than one of those luxury gift baskets NYC has to offer.

Now, let’s go back a bit. I’ll start by saying I’ve had a lot of jobs in my lifetime, but my latest absolutely takes the cake—the kind of cake that comes in corporate gift baskets for clients, enemies, and people with crappy jobs. Anyway, I work for a company that’s in charge of coming up with corporate gift basket ideas, and my job can get really interesting, as you can probably imagine. Even more interesting is the fact that my boss happens to be the most terrible gambler I’ve ever met. Not joking.

I’m really not sure how Larry Groper got into the business of corporate gifts for clients with his gambling addiction, but he did, and I’m kinda glad. This guy makes bets on everything. The obvious—sports, cards, races—but he also bets on the silly stuff. It could be anything. He bets on the weather, the number of cars that go by, how many jelly beans in a jar. I mean, I’ve even seen the man bet on which items would be in luxury gift baskets Los Angeles people buy.

Most of the time, my coworkers and I just ignore all this betting. You really don't do a good job of choosing ideas for corporate gift baskets USA unless you have superior attention levels.

When Larry announced an office raffle in the middle of us working on a major unique gift baskets project, we truly didn't think a lot of it. I was in the middle of picking the best disposable razor brands for gift baskets for women when he announced it.

“Alright, y’all. Listen up. I’ve got an important announcement. We’re going to take a quick break on luxury gift baskets for her and unique gift baskets for him. We’re going to be doing a raffle to raise funds for a very important cause.”

A raffle? This was enough to catch my attention, draw me away from the unique gift baskets for her and the disposable razors. I did have a few extra bucks that week after switching my cat to generic cat food. And, I could use some random junk, especially if there were any gourmet gift baskets in the mix. He went on.

“Tomorrow, I’ll be bringing in quite a few items. I’ll set these items up over in the old conference room. Ticket prices for each item will be clearly identified, and Jolene, my secretary, will be in charge of doling out those tickets. However, and this is the fun part, every item will be covered with a sheet. So, you will have to use your own estimations to determine if the item you see is worth the ticket price.”

The next morning, just as Larry had promised, the conference room was lined up strategically with item after item, covered in sheets.

Looking back now, I wish we would’ve asked more questions before we bought tickets. Some of those ticket prices were pretty crazy. Of course, the higher prices led us all to believe that whatever was being raffled would be well worth the cost. We thought maybe there would be some luxury corporate gift baskets in there because luxury corporate gifts would definitely be worth it. I found a small item, about the size of some of those edible corporate gifts, and I threw down $5000 bucks on five tickets just for that item.

A few others spent more than me. Teddy, the girl from the cubicle next to mine, spent over $6000 on what she thought was one of the best luxury gift baskets under one of the sheets. I couldn’t say that I blamed her. Some of those luxury gift baskets USA corporates ordered contain some high-dollar stuff. Once, I remember getting a call from a client that added an all-expense-paid trip to Greensburg, Kentucky, chicken treats, and a pogo stick to the basket.

I can’t really describe the energy among the workforce when the items were finally revealed. After all the tickets had been sold, and there were a lot of tickets sold with so much speculation about luxury gift baskets, Larry stepped up to make the big reveal.

Sheet after sheet, he proudly revealed all of the personal items that we’d paid so much money for. There were no unique corporate gift baskets, none of the best custom gift baskets, and for sure no unique gift baskets for couples. It was devastating.

These raffle “prizes” looked more like items collected from a dumpster after a garage sale in the projects. None of the items were fitting to be included in the best corporate gift baskets. And, to think that any of what we were looking at could be added to gourmet gift baskets was laughable.

It appeared to me, Larry had scrounged together anything he could to dupe us. A toaster without a cord, a large stack of old knitting magazines, a toilet lid held together with duct tape. I swear, the only thing in the collection worth anything at all was a heart-shaped locket that didn’t have a chain, and even that was just sterling silver and had an old picture glued in it. That small item I thought was valuable? It was a gallon-sized bag of dryer lint. Yes, really.

I consider myself an easy going guy. In all truth, if you’re in my business—customized corporate gifts—you have to have a thick skin and even temperament. Luxury corporate gifting companies just have that reputation. It’s not easy work, but I’m a good fit cause I have a cool head. For that very reason, I was ready to let this whole thing go. But, some of my coworkers, especially those in charge of corporate gift baskets with logos, were pretty upset. That bunch is not one to mess with.

When people started asking questions, Larry was looking pretty doggone guilty. He was sweating but kept proclaiming that these raffle prizes were a lot better and a lot more valuable than they looked. He even had the audacity to say that unique corporate gift baskets were built out of some of these very same items. I’m not sure if he thought we were all born yesterday or what—we knew unique corporate gifts by heart and those prizes were far from corporate gift ideas.

Larry did pass out the prizes. Hence, my $5000 bag of dryer lint. But it didn’t take long for people to really get irate and start demanding their money back. A lot of folks were threatening to beat Larry with a home office gift basket and then stuff the pieces into corporate gift baskets one by one so no one would ever miss him. Staring down at my overpriced bag of lint, I was considering how I could use best office gift baskets to plan the perfect murder myself.

When someone actually lunged for Larry with one of those unique gift baskets that weighed about a hundred pounds, he gave in.

“Wait!” he screamed. “Please, please don’t do this with office gift baskets. I’ve got a gambling problem. I owe a man $50,000. If I don’t settle this debt, he’s threatened to deliver a bomb in a gift basket for office staff here. We’ll all die. I was doing what I could to save us all. I saw that office gift baskets episode about a raffle and knew this could be a way.”

We weren’t buying it. Gift baskets for group settings were practically unheard of, and who would murder a bunch of people just for one guy’s debt?

Larry finally came clean. He said he’d made up the thing about the bomb in corporate gifts for employees in hopes of gaining sympathy. He made his rounds around the office returning money to everyone. However, when he got to me, I knew I had to be the one to stand up.

“Listen, Larry. I know you care about people like us that plan corporate gift baskets for employees. Heck, I’ve even seen you plan gift baskets for employees working from home just to be fair to all of us. And, I don’t think you’re a bad guy. I have a proposition for you. You can keep my five grand if you agree to go to Gambler’s Anonymous every week. That ought to be enough to buy you a little more time.”

Larry thought about this for a minute, and I could hear the office buzzing around me.

“I’ll throw in a gift basket for the group when you go,” a voice shouted from the back of the room. “And, if you can get me one of those employee gift baskets under $25, I’ll let you keep my money too.”

Larry’s eyes welled up with tears. He slowly started to nod. And that’s how I ended up with a $5000 bag of dryer lint, an entirely new perspective on gambling addiction, and a boss that’s been in recovery for a while now.