Corporate Wine Gift Baskets

After another profitable sales quarter, Chris, the owner of Sheeno’s Vinos, received an invitation to try the new escape room in the next town over. It was supposed to be a fun team-building activity for the whole sales group.

“Hey, why not? We deserve a little fun, right guys?” he said.

Huh. Famous last words spoken.

Our wine and gift basket company, Sheeno’s Vinos, has less than 20 employees in Piru, Texas.

The company started gaining notoriety after a popular comedy sitcom featured an actress scarfing gourmet cheese and gulping red wine from Sheeno’s wine gift box after losing her engagement ring and lying to her fiance about it.

Since the episode aired on national TV, phone and web orders have continuously been coming in.

Chris had mentioned in the past that he had a business partner but things didn’t work out.

Rumor has it that it was that actress from the sitcom - April Conners.

And that they used to be lovers.

Chris never confirmed it but he would always change the channel whenever we try to watch the show in the breakroom.

Anyway, it’s about time Chris took us out for non-work-related fun, even if it was with people from work.

The whole escape room layout was a replica of our office. It's unsettling how precise everything was.

There were corporate wine gift baskets in one corner. There was also a cardstock note that read, “If you would like to enjoy our wine baskets, we would be happy to charge this to the total of your activity fee.”

“Oh my gosh!” Lisa exclaimed. “It’s three times the amount we would normally charge - what a rip-off!”

No one knows who invited the office to the escape room but now that we're here, we know it must have been someone who hated us.

When we first walked in, we thought it was a clever joke that the escape room was a perfect replica of our current office.

The price list we posted on the main wall of our office had the same as what we would charge for corporate gift delivery. There were also promo flyers for the complimentary cheese sample for every corporate wine gifts delivered.

Sales intern Myron’s bike is in the corner near the printers. Lisa’s knitting needles were in one of the used unique thank you gift baskets. Luke’s huge collection of Battlestar Galactica bobbleheads was on the very exact shelf we have in our actual cubicle.

And Chris’ office has the Best Boss sign hanging off the doorknob.

We were floored.

Even the funny demotivational poster Got the Case of the Mondays? hung near the fax machine.

Hearing someone wailing nearby, we all headed into the breakroom where the TV was airing our usual sitcom. It was a funny episode of April's ugly crying after her fiance dumped her to take care of their balloon-decorating business.

Except we weren’t laughing. Because we knew it was kinda spooky. Chris turned off the TV.

We went to "our" desk. That's when we noticed how creepy it was exactly like our office.

“Dude! They even got my retainer case here!” Flynn yelled from across the room.

The office corner held all the office gift baskets and edible corporate gifts.

There were also luxury corporate gift baskets as well. Everything was exactly how our office was laid out. Except the only difference was a chute in the opposite corner of the office.

The metal chute was coming from the ceiling with a padded mat at the end.

“I wonder where it’s coming from,” Luke queried. “It’s big enough for someone to slide into the room.”

“Hey! I got the first clue!” yelled Myron, pulling the card that was taped to his computer monitor.

A favorite of mine.

The Nebbiolo grape comes from the vine.

Barolo is a type as said on its sign.

Name this expensive wine.

“Who’s favorite wine is a Barolo?” Flynn asked the group.

“Not mine,” Lisa answered. Both Luke and Myron shook their heads.

“The most expensive Barolo Sheeno’s sells is the Giuseppe Mascarello & Figlio - that’s like a $280 almost $300 wine,” said Flynn.

“Let’s skip that one. We’ll come back to it later,” said Chris.

The riddles started. Instead of little logic puzzles and clever plays on words, they were questions about us and how to do our actual jobs.

Lisa found another clue that was taped near her keyboard.

For someone who graduated from Yale

Where getting in is like the holy grail

Yet here at Sheeno’s, has never made a sale.

Who am I?

“It’s obvious it ain’t me,” said Lisa.

“Oh, that’s easy. That’s Myron,” said Luke, laughing.

Myron scoffed. “Dude, I’ve made sales. But I’ve never been to Yale.”

Luke looked into the box labeled corporate gift baskets for employees but didn’t see any clue cards nearby.

“Maybe the clues are in the baskets themselves,” Luke said. “Can you pass the birthday wine gift baskets? It might be in there.”

“Don’t even think about it! The company won’t be reimbursed for any incidentals you guys incur during this event,” Chris warned.

“What?” Myron had already untied the ribbon for the luxury gift baskets. “Aww, man!” He tried to re-tie the ribbon as best as he could but the bow didn’t look good like it did before.

“Hey, it’s Chris!” said Flynn. “He’s never made sales this past year and he’s from Yale!”

A foghorn blared. We scored our first point.

We had to know rules from the employee handbook, details about important client accounts, steps from standard operating procedures...it was bizarre.

“See if you can find the next clue in the wine and cheese gift baskets, Myron,” said Luke, digging into the box labeled best wine and cheese gift baskets.

“There’s nothing there, Luke,” Myron replied.

“Got it,” Flynn yelled, pulling the card from the back of Chris’ chair, his forehead sweaty. “What code do you use to send different basket deliveries every 5th day of the month?”

Luke shrugged his shoulders. He looked at Myron. He didn’t know either.

“Wouldn't it be funny if we couldn’t figure this out?” Lisa said, browsing through the unique wine gift baskets.

“Do you know the answer, Lisa?” Flynn asked. She gave the I dunno look and hand gesture.

“Hey guys, I found another clue. Maybe we can get the answer to this one,” said Luke, plucking the clue from the office plant. “When does the FedEx guy come to pick up the gift baskets for tomorrow’s delivery?”

“Is it 3:30?” asked Lisa.

“2:45?” Flynn guessed.

Myron ventured a guess. “5 o’clock?”

The foghorn did not sound.

Little did we know we were gonna be here for a long time. And the clock’s already running for two hours already.

We found more clues in random places, questions like what kind of toner the main printer uses or what time the janitors come in to clean the office. Easy questions we should know.

But we didn’t know any of that.

“Does anyone know what we’re supposed to do after a client orders five or more wine and cheese gift baskets, same day delivery?” asked Flynn, swiping through the clue cards one after another.

A lot of no’s and a few shaking their heads in reply.

“What is the discount code for the wine gift baskets free shipping?” Another round of no’s.

“Seriously, people? How is it that we have made money if you all don’t know how to do your jobs?” Chris asked, a bewildered look on his face.

“So I’m guessing you guys don’t know how to send the red wine gift baskets internationally?” Chris asked, a bit sarcastically.

Silence.

“Hey guys, did you notice the clues are way different from the riddles we had at the beginning of the game?” asked Lisa.

“She’s right. It’s like this game is rigged for us to fail,” said Flynn.

We all looked at each other knowing we were screwed.

It's been a few hours now, and everyone is hungry. Good thing the replica includes the office bathroom, because who knows how long we'll be stuck here.

“It looks like you guys didn’t get far,” said a female voice. Everyone turned their heads to see a woman getting up from the chute. It’s April Connors.

“Oh my gosh! Am I dreaming or is that April eff’ing Connors?” Lisa exclaimed.

Chris walked toward her. “It was you this whole time?”

April smiled and held up an engagement ring. Chris looked into her eyes. There was a look of longing between the two former love birds.

“Aww.. just kiss her already!” Flynn yelled.

Chris didn’t hesitate and planted one on her. We all cheered.

Because Lisa didn’t eat lunch, she didn’t care anymore, breaking into the wine gift baskets near me and was already devouring the cheese and crackers.

I don’t blame her, I busted the best wine gift baskets 2021 while the other guys ransacked the

wine gift baskets delivery that had just come through the chute minutes before.

Myron pulled the Barolo. He handed it to April. “Your favorite?” She smiled, accepting the pricey wine. “Sheeno’s Vinos,” Chris said.

He also gave the okay - Sheeno’s will front the bill.

“Hey Chris, we’re finally having fun,” said Lisa between her bites of crackers and chocolates.