International Snack Nation

While everyone was working from home, the local fauna got pretty comfortable around the office. Birds on the roof, deer on the lawn, bunnies in the courtyard - it was pretty cute. But now with the office back in operation, nature wasn’t looking to budge from their new home.

Eventually, there are only so many stolen lunches and bird poop incidents we can take before we have to fight back.

Clarissa, the office manager, noticed it first. She was going in once a week during lockdown just to keep an eye on things and she saw the animals coming out of hiding, getting bolder and more comfortable every week.

At first, it was fine. No interference from humans, nature was bound to return, right? Even with a small automation firm like ours, Cache Dump, it did bring a much-needed woodland vibe to our techy building. Also, Clarissa was a big animal lover so she pretty much reveled in it, putting out bird seeds for the bluejays and squirrels.

Being the receptionist, I was in charge of all incoming mail, ordering office supplies and replenishing the conference room with goodies. We have about 25 employees and most of them are computer engineers with the rest in admin and accounting.

But because of the lockdown, Clarissa took it upon herself to take care of my duties while we were on lockdown. I still work at Cache Dump though at home, working on research.

She called my cell, asking for my contact for Snack Nation and was asking for the snacknation snack list.

It was Cache Dump’s favorite food vendor and they were offering international Snack Nation chocolate goodies from Sweden. That’s good news for everyone coming back to the office in a couple of weeks.

Clarissa loves animals, so we weren’t surprised when she put up wildlife cams so that everyone could watch the action on live stream. Birds, deer, rabbits, even wild turkeys showed up.

It was pretty cool to see nature. It was also a break from going through caroo reviews. I still had to research through tons of snacknation reviews to get an overall customer service feel of the company and many have been positive.

We were due back in the office by next week and I was excited to see my coworkers. Working from home was okay but there were a lot of clothes and shoes I couldn’t wait to show off, especially my calf-high leather boots.

I’m sure Clarissa was just crossing all her t’s and dotting her i’s when she had me scour through every caroo snacknation reviews for any negative feedback.

I get up to get another cup of coffee from my kitchen when I hear mooing in the background. I walk up to my laptop, turn up the speakers and peer at the corner of my screen. I saw a few cows near the bushes outside of the building.

What the? Are there cows now?

When we started working in the office again, we thought they'd disappear. We were wrong.

We would see birds swooping above our heads, squirrels darting and feral chickens clucking nearby.

Since Cache Dump had an open ceiling design complete with exposed pipes, it was easy for birds to nest above our heads.

Clarissa wanted me to look into snacknation brands and what their nutrition facts are.

I looked at a snackness box, my eyes feasting at the many individual packages of chips, cookies and popcorn. There were close-up photos of the munchies that got my mouth watering. I only had a banana for breakfast and my stomach was growling.

Chirp, chirp.

Ignoring it, I go and log online to complete the snacknation quiz. From my personality, the answers point to what my go-to snack personality is: chocolate pretzels.

The chirps are getting louder and more consistent. They sound much closer.

I got out of my chair and knelt towards the sound. Pulling my filing drawers at my desk, I see the bottom drawer filled with twigs, leaves and twine. A nest of baby chicks was crying for their mother.

What the? Is this for real?

“Clarissa!”

The squirrels have the run of the courtyard--there's no eating outside anymore without losing half your lunch. The birds are everywhere and someone gets pooped on almost every day.

Clarissa called animal control but was told that because of everyone coming back to the office, they had many similar cases with animals settling in office spaces. They’re also backed up for at least two weeks. Instead, they suggest enjoying the nature show as it’s rare to get a front-row seat without having to turn on the television or drive to a nearby park.

In the meantime, two ladies from accounting twisted their ankles stepping on bunny burrows outside the entrance. Countless people have accidentally stepped on deer poop. Many use their umbrellas or yardsticks to shoo at an occasional goat or wandering pig.

We used to gather near the water cooler to hang out but the birds have taken over, using the pooling water for their birdbaths. The roosters laid claim in the kitchen, so no one can really warm their food for lunch.

It’s gotten so bad that there’s even talk about people looking into snacknation careers or at least looking into caroo snacknation jobs. I was even looking into positions for snacknation customer service.

At least once a week there's a major panic attack over a snake or frog. People are afraid to walk outside alone--one guy has already quit.

I mean, who wouldn’t after finding a slimy croaker in your 1 dollar snack box. 

Luckily, our company is in the snacknation dollar snack club so we were able to get more as long as we had the dollar snack club login and password.

Erratic squeals and screaming are pretty common now. With the frequency of seeing random animals in the office, everyone else was concerned about what’s hiding at their desk.

Clarissa sent out a mass email with new rules to combat the invasion of animals.

• No feeding animals. Cache Dump is working with Animal Control Services to rectify the problem.
• Clean up after yourself - our janitorial services quit last week, so you are responsible for cleaning your area.
• Bring a raincoat to avoid bird poop on your clothes.
• Eat snacks quickly and throw wrappers in the trash bin. Don’t forget to secure the lid and lock it.
• Scoop the poop and be careful where you step. Animal poop smeared onto the carpet is hard to clean off. 

Even with the memo, it didn’t mitigate the increasing incident reports with the animals, especially with the bunnies. As adorable as they were, they still pooped everywhere.

But really, it’s the raccoons to watch out for. They look cute but they mean business.

The pesky little critters were bold enough to break into the snacks box in the supply room, nabbing all the nuts and granola.

Most of the goodies are already gone and I needed to replenish the conference room. I tried my snacknation account login and realized the password did not automatically populate.

Great, I thought. Forgot password? Yes, I say, clicking on snacknation login.

Reset password link. What is your new password?

I saw a flash of something dark and furry to my right. The piles of snacks tumble onto the floor. A large raccoon was making like a bandit, its arms full of individual Dorito chip bags and a bag of sour worms in its mouth.

I grabbed the nearest item, which happened to be a three-ring binder and tried to shoo it away.

It glared at me, snarling and dropping the worms.

I let go of the folder, grabbed my stuff and made a beeline to Clarissa’s office.

If we don't do something soon, we might have to go back to working from home forever.

Clarissa asked that I call a pest control company instead. I was about to reason that they deal with insects and not animals but seeing her wiping bird poop off her chair, I decided against it and made the call in the file closet instead. I also texted a coworker to send snacks since I’ll be on the phone for a while.

There’s talk of Cache Dump offering hazard pay but it’s been months already. If nothing changes, staying on isn’t worth it. No one expected to scoop up poop as part of their job description. I sigh when I hear BugsBGone’s answering machine and get out of the closet.

Making sure the raccoon was gone, I sit at my desk, contemplating my future at Cache Dump. It doesn’t hurt to see what there is out there.

I look at snacknation salaries for researchers and it’s competitive. With constant media coverage, the company’s popularity has soared, increasing Snacknation revenue.

But I’m loyal to my company right? I get a whiff of something foul.

I just stepped on a pile of bunny poo. Oh, no! Not my new boots!

“Clarissa!”