International Snacks

Another disappointing quarter and, frankly, I was scared. This is not an employer you want to let down, if you know what I mean. I sent my usual international snacks box to them. I do the same international snacks every year – call it insurance. Nothing cushions the blow of a poor quarter quite like international candy.

So, what do I sell? It’s a fair question. I’m not a drug lord or arms dealer – nothing like that. Most people don’t appreciate the risks that go into selling quality wine. There is a reason these deals often occur behind closed doors but in front of some of the best international snacks available. International candy pairs well with a fine Merlot. When a client walks in willing to pay thousands for a single bottle, well, they have a right to expect the best international snack box money can buy as a perk.

“What about an international snack store,” I asked? I had a thought -- I would shop at an international snack store near me if such a thing existed. I would even use an online snack store on the holidays, so why not? I asked again.

“Stop talking” was the only answer I got. There go my dream of buying my next international snacks box at an international snack store near me. I looked up at him. He was still talking, and his face was red. I knew this wasn’t looking good for me. I suppose it was too late to try to smooth things over with a trip to that international snack store three towns over.

“This is the third quarter in a row that our sales fall short. How do I explain that? We all answer to someone, you know?” “But, what about an international snacks store?” I responded, I just couldn’t let the idea go. If we open an online snack store, it means more revenue.” “And more overhead,” the boss answered. “We would need to stock an international snack store, and that costs money.

“But, that’s the beauty of this plan, boss. You already buy international snacks and drinks. We would just sell them instead of giving them away. We could even expand and sell European appetizers and Japanese snacks online.”

“Still, there would be overhead. You need a place to sell these international snacks and drinks, and what about a website – unless we cut out the middleman and sell in bulk. We could do that on the street, so not a location expense. Japanese snacks online could actually be part of a European appetizers package we sell on the street, along with fine wines to accompany it. It could work.”

“On the street?” I could barely believe what I was hearing. “Is there a big call for that kind of thing on the street? Do people stop at corners asking for European appetizers and fine wine? It’s not something you hear much about on the news. I’m not sure International snacks and drinks would sell in bulk. I know of at least one store that sells Japanese snacks online, and they do well.”

“No, no, no – I’m telling you this will work if we do it right.” I was still unsure. International snacks and drinks sold on the street? What, like, wholesale. I gasped at the very thought of these tasty European appetizers being a street commodity. “Maybe we could split the difference,” I said to the boss. “We can set up a place to sell Japanese snacks online and still sell the wine and other stuff on the street. Whatever works best, we keep.” “Like a contest?” “Sure,” I answered. “Like that?”

My cries fell on deaf ears, though. “No, when you are the boss, you can do what you want. Right now, it’s my life on the line, so we are going to do it my way.” So, international snacks wholesale it was, and it worked better than I expected. I figured if we are going to do it, we needed a plan. I would send the new salespeople to the office blocks throughout the city, selling wholesale snacks and fine wine door to door. The veterans would go out on the street in unmarked vans selling to anyone that walked up to them.

It was risky because we would have to keep everything off the books. “I can’t have the main office finding out about this,” the boss pointed out to me. “Things don’t go well if you go against those at the top.” I nodded. I had heard the stories just like everyone else. Bosses caught selling exotic snacks wholesale just disappeared. They were all about the excellent customer service upstairs, and selling the international snacks wholesale was taking something away from their valued clients. No, we both knew they wouldn’t tolerate a wholesale snacks business on the side.

We made a grievous error in our planning. We failed to factor greed into the equation. As the boss predicted, the UK snacks and candy sold like wildfire. People couldn’t get enough of these international holiday appetizers and exotic foreign snacks. That left us with two major problems.

Problem number one was the money. If we had decided to sell international snacks online, there would be a paper trail. Selling stuff on the street this way, with each salesperson negotiating their own price for the exotic foreign snacks, there was no way to know who is skimming what. The number of international holiday appetizers disappearing just didn’t sync with the money coming back to the office. Something was not right.

Problem two was the amazing exotic foreign snacks going home with the salespeople. Again, there was just no accountability. If we sold international snacks online, there would be inventory management. This way, all we know is they are taking UK snacks and candy from the warehouse, but what happens after that is anybody’s guess.

I didn’t see it coming. Nobody could have really, or I don’t think they could. I sat with my newly acquired, not saying where I got it, British snack box, while he looked over the numbers for the hundredth time. “It’s not right. There are too many snacks from around the world going out and too little money coming back into the office. We are losing money. How does that happen when all they are doing is selling International foods UK manufacturers make. It doesn’t make sense.”

“It does if you think it through, boss. We gave them all these foreign snacks Japan and other countries make and let them run their own show. There is no accountability.” “You’re saying someone is skimming?” He asked. “What else could it be? They all take the same number of snacks from around the world, but some people bring back more money than others, right?” “I guess,” he said, shaking his head. “Who would steal a British snack box. It’s unsavory.”

He called a meeting with everyone in the office to talk it out. “I’m furious. We set this up to get back in the green selling these snacks from around the world wholesale, but we are still losing money. Does anyone have anything they want to confess?” I could see people cowering as the boss yelled and ranted about missing international chips. Everyone was cowering but one person. Jimmy from the mailroom was just munching away on treats from a British snack box.

Jimmy, I could have guessed. He had an HR file as big as a truck. Finally, everyone was staring at him as he ate away at his international chips. He looked up. “What? You guys never seen someone enjoying a British snack box before?” “Where did you get it, Jimmy?” The boss yelled. Did you take that out of our snacks from around the world collection?” “Yeah, okay, I admit it. I’ve taken some stuff and some money, too. Whose fault is that, though? If you were a better manager, I wouldn’t have the chance to skim delicious international chips. Yet, here we are, right?”

The boss started shaking all over. He raised his fist and then let it drop by his side. “There will be consequences for your actions, young man.” Jimmy dipped his hand into the British snack box he was working on and responded, “No, I don’t think so. If you do anything, I’ll be forced to report this mess, and it is a mess, to corporate. I think we all know who disappears if that happens. It’s not the guy from the mailroom eating international chips, that’s for sure.” Suddenly, I knew he was right. The international foods UK bosses were going to do something, and it wasn’t going to be to Jimmy.

Just the mention of potential issues with the bosses who handle the international snacks in the UK was enough. Everyone slowly got up and walked toward the door. They stopped in front of the boss and talked about how much they liked selling the UK snacks, but they would have to pass on future opportunities. In other words, no one was willing to go back out to sell even one more UK snacks box. So, once again, we missed our third-quarter targets. That boss is gone now. No one knows where exactly, but now I’m in charge. We sell UK snacks online and hit the mark every quarter.