Variety Snack Box

It's the last quarter and we were just days away from the end of the quarter. We were also on track to miss our targets again.

A small mid-sized steakhouse company, Chewsin Swallo, Inc. has outlasted most retailers because of its steaks. Our number #1 best-seller is BigBites, a basket full of dry-aged steaks, sausages, and compound butter. Mary’s Chops was also another popular one, with lamb instead.

Anyway, my boss, Lorenzo Rossi called for another staff meeting. He unbuttoned his expensive Italian suit to reveal a massive paunch.

“Hey, gang. As you know, we ain’t making sales like we used to. The big bosses don’t like the numbers. I don’t either. That gotta change.”

Josh starts twirling his pen.

You see, Chewsin Swallo has issued warnings like this and we’ve pulled through. That is until people decide to eat less meat.

Sales started to decline and here we are...up poop creek without a paddle.

Corporate no longer allowed discretionary spending. No office parties and just one snack variety box in the breakroom for an office of 40 employees. It’s not even the variety snack pack chips either. We also knew that layoffs were looming ahead.

Silence. Then someone coughs.

Lorenzo broke into the variety snack box that was on the credenza and started digging into the cookies and crackers variety snack box 40 ct.

“You know, I’ve been with this company for … How long, Tony?” Lorenzo queried.

His nephew pipes up, “19 years.”

Lorenzo opens a bag of cookies, tossing two into his mouth. Crumbs fell onto his collared shirt and settled onto his gut.

“19 years. I’m due for retirement and I ain’t leaving without my pension. I expect everyone to sell and I don’t care how you do it. You hear me?”

We were worried. Only a miracle can make that happen.

This would be the third quarter in a row. Corporate might start thinking about replacing him.

“It’s not looking good for him,” Molly whispered. “They’re talking about getting rid of him.”

Another hour passed.

“Whatta bout our numbers online?” Lorenzo asked.

“Not very good - only 2,000 sold,” Josh quipped.

He clicks his tongue. “We gotta do better. Anyone got any ideas?”

“We can try to sell more to friends and family,” I suggested.

“I’ve already maxed out with my family. They bought $1,500 worth the last time,” Molly said.

Lorenzo begins pacing back and forth and suddenly snaps his finger, an idea coming to him.

“Okay, okay. New plan. New marketing campaign. Let’s do a full-size ad, customize your own snack box in bright colors with big font. We can do another one for a customizable international snack box, too. For each purchase.”

Except there was no money for advertising but Lorenzo was dismissive. Instead, he demanded that everyone post it to their own personal social media.

Interestingly enough, it was pretty enticing to have a customizable snack box for every purchase. But was it enough?

Lorenzo decided there was no way we were going to fall short again, even if it meant we had to sell BigBites in bulk on the street.

There was no way we could sell that much inventory in such a short time. Even with the promise of custom snack box chips or even snack boxes for kids, it just wouldn’t be enough.

“How about we do a curated snack box, like it’s a party favor or something?” Molly suggested. “With two BigBites or Mary’s Chops, we can give away…” She trailed off.

For the first time, I saw beads of sweat forming on Lorenzo’s forehead.

“Do whatever it takes to get rid of the inventory. Everything needs to go.” Lorenzo pauses. “Oh, the first sales rep who sells the most gets dinner at Martinelli’s.”

That piqued everyone’s interest.

Martinelli’s was the famous waterfront Italian restaurant outside the city with a waitlist long into next year. Scoring a table would be close to impossible.

“Well, what youse waiting for? Everyone - sell the damn steaks!” Lorenzo bellowed.

Newbies were assigned to office blocks throughout the city, where they had to walk around and push BigBites. Senior reps drove around in company vans, distributing to the juniors and collecting money.

Figuring we could do better as a team, Josh and I had to trek through downtown and sell the steaks with a complimentary of either the ultimate snack care package at $129.99 or the ultimate snacks variety box which was $159.99. We were doing well. People preferred the snacks and we were able to sell out our initial stash within the first hour. We were also running low on snack boxes and headed back to the office to get more.

Molly grabbed the Frito-Lay ultimate snack care package. She was hoarding all the premium boxes for herself, loading them into the van. When Josh protested and tried to grab it, Molly jumped in front of us, snarling and clawing for the boxes. It was obvious Josh and I weren’t getting anywhere near those boxes.

We go to the storage outside and it’s Tony at the door.

“Whatta you doin’ here?”

After explaining that we need more, he steps aside and leads us to another door.

“It’s cuz I like youse guys I’m showing you this. Here.”

Tony hands the keys to the secret room where all the snack boxes were.

Jackpot.

It was every man for himself. With sales pushing out for more BigBites, that meant more fun snack boxes were given out.

The variety fun box also outnumbered the demand for BigBites and Mary’s Chops. With everyone on the streets and so much money changing hands, some people started to get greedy.

For Josh and I, we had a reason to.

Josh has been planning to propose to his longtime girlfriend and Martinelli’s would be the perfect place to do so.

As for me, my wife has been nagging at me for not being romantic. Boy, would I love to show her.

Josh and I worked all the way into the late evening.

Exhausted, I told him I was going home. We sold $4,500 of BigBites in total. But that wasn’t enough for Josh. He was gonna try to sell online.

What I didn’t know was he was putting fake reviews, hyping BigBites, and the complimentary variety fun packages. He created fake accounts to post variety fun box reviews online.

How he was able to garner an additional $5,000 overnight is still a mystery. We reported our numbers along with the rest of the sales but by the next day, the numbers weren't adding up.

Lorenzo brought everyone into the conference room. He had a sales report in his hand. Inventory was sold out but we didn’t make our quota. Lorenzo started asking questions.

“How many boxes of Costco College Snacks did you give out, Josh?” he asked.

Josh shrugged. “I don’t know. A lot.”

Lorenzo sifts through the healthy snack Costco tray. He pulls out a bag of nuts. He looks at his weary, war-torn staff. Most were wearing yesterday’s work clothes.

“Gotta eat for health, right?” He chuckles to himself.

“Look kid, youse gotta come clean. We give away the Variety Snack Box Costco but youse charging less. There is less money coming in and the Costco Snack Delivery costs more than what we charge. Care to explain that?”

Looking down, Josh doesn’t say anything, putting his hands in his pants.

Lorenzo sighs. “Corporate wants us to explain why we didn’t get more money for what we sold. Since you don’t have an answer, I’m afraid I gotta put you on leave.”

Josh stares at him. Then a dangerous glint came over his eyes.

“Go ahead. I’ll tell corporate you ordered us to start skimming because you were so desperate to meet the quota. I’ll tell them why you hired Tony. I’ll also tell them that you’ve been padding your gut with the company snacks and blaming it as part of the budget cuts. Go ahead Lorenzo, I dare you.”

Lorenzo dropped his bag of nuts, lunging after Josh, his hands on his throat.

“Why, you little piece a…”

Tony and I managed to pull him off Josh. He stormed out of the conference room with Tony trailing right behind him.

No one wanted to go back out after that, so we missed our targets for the third quarter in a row. We have a new boss now. Toshi Yamasaki. He seems like a cool guy, though he’s missing a couple of fingers. He doesn’t say much but Molly says he used to be a CEO for a big Japanese company. Already, changes have been made.

Chewsin Swallo now offers individual snack packs and many variety snacks. There are different options for those looking for allergy-free snacks and mothers looking for a healthy snack box for their kids. We also offer Nibbles, for all those interested in watching their calories. Chewsin Swallo still sells BigBites and Mary’s Chops but it’s not as popular as it was before. It's still available online for purchase.

And one final change Josh suggested was to solicit snack box ideas on our website and employees are encouraged to enter with a chance to win a weekend trip to the Bahamas if their idea gets picked up. Yamasaki gave his approval for employees to participate. I already have. Gotta do something romantic for the wife, right?